![]() If you’re looking for a clever spin on anything, stay home and make a BBQ pizza.Įven the starry voice cast is a let-down. On their predictable quest, they team up with Donkey Kong (Seth Rogen), drive on the rainbow road and use power-up cubes from the video games to give ‘em a boost. ![]() ![]() “With a lot of galaxies.” Mario and Princess Peach (Anya Taylor-Joy) team up to save her kingdom and find Luigi. “There’s a huge universe out there,” she says. In New York, they’re talentless plumbers - here, they’re heroes.Īll the characters make moronic comments that aren’t funny enough to be called jokes.įor instance, Bowser announces to the audience’s silence: “I am now the most powerful turtle in the world! Soon we will arrive at the Mushroom Kingdom!”Īnd the princess isn’t exactly a MENSA candidate, either. Mario enlists the princess’ help to find his brother, and she asks him and Toad to protect her and her people from evil Bowser, who wants to get married to her. Mario winds up in Peach’s Mushroom Kingdom, while Luigi is plopped in the Dark Lands that Bowser lords over. It’s a kind of “The Lion, The Witch and the Nintendo” situation. While trying to fix a water main break downtown, the pair are sucked into a magic pipe and whisked to the world of Princess Peach (Anya Taylor-Joy), Bowser (Jack Black) and Toad (Keegan-Michael Key). Mario (voiced by Chris Pratt) and Luigi (Charlie Day) start out as Brooklyn plumbers. And, rising to the occasion, Pratt and Day provide their characters with very boring voices. But in reality, they talk like normal, very boring dudes. Their cringy, “It’s-a me!” Italian accents, we learn, were briefly faked for a “Ghostbusters”-style commercial to hawk their struggling business. One bully calls the duo “Brooklyn’s favorite failures.” I spot mustachioed guys wearing overalls in Williamsburg all the time.īut perhaps the boys would be better off selling artisan beard oil on Bedford, because they’re not very good with their socket wrenches. The mind-numbingly obvious story starts out in Brooklyn, where Mario ( voiced by Chris Pratt) and Luigi (Charlie Day) work as plumbers. I’d much rather drive the race cars of Mario Kart at home than watch a dull CGI chase scene in an overlong kids flick. ![]()
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